People with a people-pleasing personality are essentially slaves successfully trained by their parents. The first type is a reversal of the parent-child relationship. In a normal family, parents should care for their children's emotions and pay attention to their emotional needs. However, in families with a people-pleasing child, the situation is quite the opposite. The child has to soothe the parents' emotions, and the parents demand that the child centers around them. If you think about it, when a child is forced to care for the parents' emotions for a long time, over time, in interpersonal relationships, they become accustomed to putting others' feelings first. Therefore, this group of people is usually highly sensitive, particularly good at observing others' negative emotions, and always trying to take care of others, but often neglecting their own emotions and feelings in the end.

The second type is when parents randomly invade their children's boundaries. We say that in a normal family, parents should protect their children's growth space, allowing them to freely explore and establish personal boundaries. However, many controlling parents forcefully encroach upon their children's space. For example, some parents often go through their children's diaries, enter their rooms without knocking, and so on. Over time, the child's autonomy is undermined. In society, they become unable to defend their own boundaries, so many people, when faced with conflict, often choose to concede and retreat. Thus, this pattern of intergenerational control not only plays out in the family but also unconsciously manifests in the outside world, forming a vicious cycle.

The third type is when some parents use obedient, sensible, filial, grateful, and other PUA tactics. The essence of all these behaviors is to make the child more controllable. So many children unconditionally take care of their parents' emotions, and when they feel wronged, they don't argue or make a fuss; long-term accommodation and long-term obedience are all to hear a compliment from their parents, like, "Oh, my child really understands things." You see, this is a kind of obedience that has been repeatedly trained; it is not a heartfelt choice made by a person. We often see some parents emphasizing to their children, "I sacrificed for you, I dedicated myself to you," thus demanding their children to be grateful and filial. They create a sense of moral indebtedness, allowing themselves to often occupy the moral high ground in the parent-child relationship. However, the child remains in a state of feeling indebted to their parents for a long time. Then there are some parents who always emphasize gratitude; they always make it clear that their love is very harsh and has additional conditions. For example, some parents often say that children need to bring honor to themselves and must be excellent enough, which leads to children lacking the nourishment of unconditional love from a young age. They find it difficult to establish true self-confidence within themselves and often lack the courage to face conflicts.

The fourth type is to belittle, deny, suppress, and destroy the child's self-esteem. Many parents often, in the name of love, cling to their child's mistakes, belittling and suppressing them. Over time, the child will internalize this denial and feel useless. Many parents use this method to place themselves in a superior position in the relationship, causing the child to lose their individuality and autonomy, ultimately becoming a hollow slave who obeys orders. Therefore, you see that children with frustrated self-esteem often become extremely sensitive in interpersonal relationships. They always excessively focus on others' words and actions, fearing being disliked, so they habitually over-interpret what others say and do. Over time, for many people with a pleasing personality, socializing becomes a source of internal exhaustion. Thus, we often see that many people with a pleasing personality frequently experience social anxiety. However, from a psychological perspective, this is a form of self-protection. #ETH突破3600# #特朗普施压鲍威尔# #山寨季何时到来？#